Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize