Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
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