you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
