You just made me feel so damn special
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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