She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
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I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
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I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
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