Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
