I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Randomize
