Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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