Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
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