She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
