i jhust puked up my retainher.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
