there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
