another moral hangover. fuck.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
