Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
