I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
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