Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
