pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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