It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
