She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
