you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
