when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
