Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
