so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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