you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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