I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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