You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
