Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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