Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
