Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
