How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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