She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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