just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
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He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
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