never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
