I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
