Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
