You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I party with great urgency now.
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