Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
