I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
