Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
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