I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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