while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
