Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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