got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
