I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
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