I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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