Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
