Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
