Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
