just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Watching her eat just hurts me
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
