Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Randomize
