Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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