in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
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