Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
