Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Randomize
