and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
