Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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