can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
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