The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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