dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
