How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
