IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize