Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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