It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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