on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
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