What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
