his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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