So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Randomize
