When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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